The Evil Rock Club

Welcome Back, Mr. Kotter

2008-10-14T01:54:55Z

Hey y'all. I broke up with my boyfriend, moved out of Hoboken, quit my job, got a new job, moved a new place, got a new boyfriend, quit my job, got a new job...and now I'm thinking of quitting again. Kurt Vonnegut died. That sums up everything. Let's move out from here.

So, here's the deal: before, I was angry and frustrated because I wasn't getting where I wanted to go. Now, we find our hero, two years later, angry and frustrated because I don't know where I want to go in the first place. I got lost! I know, technically, I"m supposed to be wanting my english degree, but all I do is dream about being Gina Trapani. Or, you know, someone who blogs for a living.

In my head, this entry was going to be elegant, but I realize now it's just going to be emo. The fact of the matter is, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or why. I've ended up with a career (boo hoo!) that I'm successful in, desirable in, and really have no interest in continuing, except for the mad money I'm making doing it. It's not soul sucking, but it's certainly not fulfilling in any way.

At the end of the day, it seems like I"m always lonely. I was lonely in hoboken, I'm lonely here, I'm going to be lonely if I move to California, or France or wherever else. I've tried medication, I'm in therapy, I exercise, I eat right, I dunno. I'm trying to think about when I don't feel lonely. I don't feel lonely when I write something good. I don't feel lonely when I'm working on a project at work. I don't feel lonely when I'm actually alone and I have time to myself. All the rest of the time, I feel pretty lonely. Weird, right?

This entry was bound to suck. I'm rusty. Give me a few days.

j

A Letter

2007-12-18T16:50:15Z

Hi Grandpa -

That's so nice you're promoting my book so much!

I have to be frank with you, though (and eventually must be frank with
my parents and family members - our school librarian has already
chosen not to purchase a copy for our school library after I gave her
a copy of the galleys). This has been a long time coming and I've
been nervous since I wrote it: The book is good. I think it is. I
think people are honest with me when they say it is. I posted copies
on online forums a few years ago and I received several fan letters -
it's meant something to a good number of people already. However,
there is material in there that, honestly, if I were a parent, I
wouldn't want a child of mine reading if they were under the age of 14
or 15. This content includes: vulgar language, sexual situations,
excessive under-age drinking, and an entire story where the main
character has an eating disorder - and suffers no bad consequences.
It is, in no way, reflective of values I hold or of a life I'd choose
for myself, but it is something I wrote to be reflective of teenage
life as I saw it in high school. I work in a high school now. I hear
what goes on. Things are still messy and vulgar and confusing (they
always have been, always will be). Most of the stuff in the book is
stuff the kids I work with have already seen, done, or at the very
least, felt - but that doesn't make it OK to give it legitimacy in
print, though.

My editor personally does not view this as a Young Adult Book. It is
being sold as one because it has no other category, really, and the
primary interested audience will be teenagers. However, both he and I
agree it's an adult-themed novel that, in an ideal world, would be
marketed to and read by adults. Such is the business of making money
on something, though. The school librarian here agreed. She loved
it, wanted to talk about it. However, she said that if we put a copy
in the library, because it's me, and I work there, folks will be
taking it out, reading it and reading into it, and there would be the
potential to get either myself or the school in trouble with
conservative parents, or parents of young children.

I can send you a copy of the galleys as well, if you like, so that if
you want to continue to give me nudges, it is forever appreciated. I
just want you to know what you're promoting so that I don't,
inadvertently, embarrass you or make you feel mislead.

The ethics behind this, for me, have been frustrating and very grey.
I feel like it's very good writing and good stories. Sometimes
immature, but wholly good. However, it's difficult for me to have
everyone be so supportive when I know, if they read it, they may be
angry, or disagree with it - be angry at me or disappointed in my
choices of topics. It is even more difficult for me to personally
promote the book when I'm so familiar with the content and so familiar
with a parent's, library's or school's goals in giving children
exposure to positive modeling for life. The morals and values in the
book are ultimately good - there is subtle negativity on things that
are destructive. However, some children and some adults may not read
it that way - people may read it in any way they choose. That is the
good and the bad of literature.

I just wanted you to know.

Jen

It's true

2007-07-27T12:19:46Z

QUOTE: (Mendelbomb @ Jul 25 2007, 7:03 PM)
I'm can't say for sure, but i think god produced this video

Update

2007-06-30T19:36:00Z

So, things are good for me but I miss you guys. I speak to Russ pretty often and that's really nice cos I'm a Russ fan. However, everyone else, I've been less than communicative - even those of you who still invite me places (believe me, I want to go so badly, but I'm having trouble)

To be honest, everything in my life changed all at once. I did the three things that you're only supposed to do one at a time: changed my relationship status, moved, and got a new job (twice on all counts). So, I think it's going to take me a while to recover. I feel a lot older than I did a year ago. I still look pretty much the same, though. God bless $10/month gyms.

Nyack is good, and if you plan on coming to the area, I'll meet up with you. Or you can see my sweet digs. I'm also officially Director of Technology at Saddle River Day School as of tomorrow. I had a weird but nice two weeks working side-by-side with Neil (for those of you who don't know who Neil is, ask your local CNS employee).

I have the scary job of changing things my first two weeks there. We're upgrading servers from Netware 6.0 to ??? (I'm tempted to move away from Netware only because it's a solution for a much bigger place than we've got), upgrading from Groupwise to ??? (no one here really uses groupwise's features, so I'm tempted to move down to something a little more simple like IMAP - or GOOGLE APPS, RAWK), installing 20 projectors and screens into classrooms, re-configuring the Wireless infrastructure AND purchasing new laptops for the teachers in time for late August.

And that's just the stuff that Neil told me we have to do. Like, I showed up into this - I didn't want to change anything.

However, since change is happening big time, I have to do some quick thinking on how I want it to happen. My scariest problem is switching to Apple. I think I might. At least for the faculty laptops. However, they've been *promised* tablet PCs by Neil. This is a point of contention for me, mostly because I don't agree with the reasoning that went into it. So, I plan on not being very popular when everyone returns. I also plan on installing Windows on every single laptop we buy, PC or Mac. At least our Microsoft Liscence will cover it.

So, if you have a moment, comment back and tell me how you are. I really do, honestly, miss you. However, I have trouble coming back and reading LJs. Don't fault me. I had a hard year. However, seeing some painted lightswitches on Flickr this AM made me feel all sappy, so I had to update.

On the relationship front, I've been keeping secrets, mostly because I still feel conflicted about last September. Russ is one of the best people, hands down, that I know. Period. That I probably will ever know. You probably feel the same way. And although I think both of us agree the move was a good one, that doesn't change how much it hurt(s) and how hard the decision was to come to and live with.

Vonnegut is dead

2007-04-12T10:34:11Z

Russellsent me this early this AM. I haven't even brought myself to read it yet.

I'm the most heartbroken girl you've ever known.

The end.

Russell Nudged Me So Here Is An Update

2007-03-19T20:02:23Z

Life is getting good again, and I'm applying to K-8 Schools in the area for the fall. And I'm consulting. Here's a nugget to fill some space:

[15:54] Nina Westbury: i'm dating a jamaican guy!
[15:56] jenniever: ho!
[15:56] jenniever: hot!
[15:56] jenniever: not ho!
[15:56] jenniever: oh god!
[15:56] jenniever: i didn't mean that!
[15:57] jenniever: i'm a horrible person!
[15:57] jenniever: i meant that it was hot!
[15:57] jenniever: not that you were a ho!
[15:57] jenniever: oh geeze...
[15:57] Nina Westbury: HA HA HA, i love you
[15:57] jenniever: i feel really stupid
[15:58] Nina Westbury: ha ha, why, i know it was a typo
[15:59] jenniever: one time I typed 'shit' when i meant 'ship'
[15:59] jenniever: and I was typing that 'I'm just a ship lost at sea'
[15:59] jenniever: that was a terrible mental image
[15:59] Nina Westbury: one time i typed prostitute when i meant sweater

"It"

2007-01-08T18:33:38Z

My dad just wrote me an email asking how "it" was going.

By "it", he meant everything. I've changed a lot of things in the last few months and at this point, he's stopped listing them and just started calling them a collective "it." Bless his heart.

I have an offer on an apartment in Yonkers that's very adult - and by adult, I mean it has a jacuzzi, hardwood floors, marble countertops, marble bathroom floor, all new fixtures and a FUCKING TERRACE (not to mention a parking space). Lots of closets and two big fucking rooms (EIK/Living Room & Bedroom - both 14' by 14'). Somehow, my real estate agent found this place in my price range, walking distance from a train, in a really nice building and in a nice neighborhood. And if I get it, it'll be all mine. She's a saint and deserves my undying devotion. Now if I can only get past the Co-Op board...

Job is good, too. Starts on the 16th and I'm nervous as hell to be working for a place that's so uppity. Have to buy some new classy clothes, man. Walter says he'll bring the LeoTV kids by for a visit and I think that'd be hella nice.

Things are OK. Once my health insurance starts again, I'm starting in with a very good therapist who can hopefully work me off of the Prozac eventually. As a side note, god bless Prozac. I'd forgotten to take it for two days last week and woke up in the morning of day three with really bad anxiety. And I'd forgotten how it felt completely - I guess that means it's working and, goddamn, I don't miss that shit at all. I'm totally not forgetting to take it again.

Just so you know

2006-12-26T03:48:21Z

I'm no ignoring any of you. I just have a lot of shit going on. Be patient, and when I'm no longer homeless or jobless, I'll have more time and more happiness, and therefore, I'll be much better about getting back to you.

Jen

one day more

2006-12-20T17:00:27Z

So, Arana emailed me an MP3 of One Day More this AM - I got it just after I finished filling out my Exit Interview Form and found out that they're actually firing me prior to my resignation date. They couldn't wait 9 days.

Tomorrow is my last day of work. It's a half day. I'm going to have a hard time going to work tomorrow. And then I'm going to have a hard time leaving. I feel numb about all of this. I hope this only leads to something better for me.

I saw two more apartments last night that were nearing excellence. One place, I almost took out my checkbook, but I just didn't feel quite at home yet. It was super-nice, though, and all utilities were included. Super nice. So, we're getting somewhere.

I'm hoping at some point, I break down and cry for a day so I get all of this built up whatever out of my system and I can move forward feeling like everything is behind me.

Dear God, it's time.

2006-12-18T15:57:55Z

Let's be frank: It's been a hell of a year for me. But, it's almost over. This is my last week at the place that pretty much ruined my life for a brief period.

I looked at apartments this weekend - three that were only so-so. The nice part about all of them, though, is that they would be 100% mine if I took them and I could afford them. I've got two jobs that are offering me good amounts of money to move from The School when my time is up here. One of them I'm actually very enthusiastic about - it's at the Columbia Business School, which is swimming in dough, and they really seem to like me. So, this transition is fine. I knew I'd be fine. I just didn't feel that way. And doing close to 13 hour days for the last three months hasn't helped me keep perspective on things. I know I'm very very tired and I'm not processing things the way I should. I'm calling a therapist on Columbia's health plan today. I paid off my credit card bills. My last tie to Hoboken is a gym membership that I have to cancel. I'm ready to move on from all this shit.

What have we learned from this? Change fucking hurts, but life is too precious and time is too short to not change when you're not happy.

I'm ready for a vacation. I have been since last March. If I can get through this bit, and I'm alive in January, I'm ready to blow the two grand I've saved on it. Dear God, it's time.

Announcement

2006-12-13T20:21:29Z

Dear Friends & Colleagues,

It is with a great amount of saddness that I will be resigning my position as Server Systems Support Specialist at Xxx Xxxxxx as of December 31st of this year. While I do not currently have any specific plans after I leave here, I have been searching for a place that will foster the ideals and ways of thinking that I learned while working under the guidance of Shawn Xxxxxxx, Amy Xxxxxx and Marc Xxxxx - three people I not only wish I could have continued to work with, but wish I could have attended their schools and classes as a child. There is a place for passion and idealism in your professional life and I am better for having seen it in action here.

I want to thank all of you for a wonderful two and a half years here - this has been a fantastic place to work and grow professionally and I'll miss getting off the X train at XXth street every morning. I wish all of you the best and hope that Xxx Xxxxxx continues to grow in interesting ways, presenting new challenges and new ideas to its students, its faculty members, the Xxxxxxxxxxx community, and to the general educational community.

I wish all of you the best of luck as you continue to work at being an inspiration to these children.

I will be reachable at my personal email address after December 22nd: xxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com

Jen

Notice to vacate apartment by 12/31/06

2006-11-22T13:42:49Z

Marilyn, at some point in the last two months, flipped her crazy switch to "Full On". Instead of talking to me about it, she's mostly been slamming doors, giving me evil looks, deadbolting me out of the apartment and sending me nasty emails about glassware. Yesterday, I guess, was the day she decided to fully assert the fact that she's completely unhinged. And, as has been her fashion, she emailed it to me instead of talking to me about it. At 8:07 in the morning. When I was sitting in my bedroom. And she was sitting in the kitchen. And she knew I was sitting in my bedroom. Because the door was open. And I kept walking through the kitchen.

It's great, because I have to be out of my miserable apartment the same day I don't work anywhere anymore. Happy new year, everyone! Have I got a clean slate for you!

What's funny about all this (if you can call it funny - I spent most of yesterday crying and unable to really do anything proactive about my life, including getting out of bed, getting out of the tub, eating, breathing at a steady pace, etc.), is that if you all recall, maybe a year ago, I was very upset as to how stable my life had gotten and how horrible it was that I was on the track to financial and personal success.

Now, not so much.

Given, I can get a job, no problem (I've got interviews already!), and the Amy thing might still come through. And, it was about time I moved somewhere where I could keep my car and live by myself (I was pretty much single for two years - Marilyn was never home and weekdays I was by myself pretty consistently - living alone doesn't scare me anymore). It's just really hard to have most of my quotidian identity stripped from me. And even harder when I've got all this shit to put somewhere and my mom says I can't move home until after the holidays. Christ.

Wooowheee! This'll be fun! If I get through this bit, I'm pretty sure I'm officially an adult.

Asking for Prozac

2006-11-14T15:28:02Z

"I think you can hold out for only so long. I think secretly each and every one of us longs to fall, and knows in a deep wise place in our brains that surrender is the means by which we gain, not lose, our lives. We know this, and that is why we have bad backs and pulled necks and throbbing pain between our shoulder blades. We want to go down, and it hurts to fight the force of gravity." - Lauren Slater, Lying

So, I had a bad night.

I remember feeling this way before. It's called depression. I went through two very destructive months in South Africa with this demon and I plan on cutting him off where he starts this time. Relationships, for me, are a bitch. Not just the fruity romantic ones that everyone thinks of when they think of relationships. No, I'm talking about good, old fashioned knowing someone. I can't do it very well, and I'm a naturally bubbly and altogether talkative person, and this doesn't mesh well with my irrational fears about human relationships.

I should have known after the first bout of what I like to call "teh crazy" that I needed to have some semi-permanent solution that didn't involve self-medicating with exercise, anal-ness about food and avoidance of all substances that could even remotely affect my mood. This means therapy. And now, I'm working on accepting medication.

I've spent the last two months reading about what's wrong with me, and I feel more comfortable asking. So, today, as a preliminary, I'm going to ask my gynecologist for a small prescription of prozac for what is undeniably an unchecked and long destructive anxiety disorder. This is hard for me and it was hard coming to this decision. But I'm very proud of it.

I was proud for a very long time of being the one person in my certifiably crazy family to not be medicated and to be entirely functional. I had a stable relationship, a good job and I could really live on my own. However, I've recently, in my spiral, rejected two of these three typical rulers of success, putting in jeopardy the third. And while they were perhaps not the worst decisions I could have made, I could have cared for myself better in making them.

Here is where I exhale: Thank God for the person who has held my hand through the last two months. The people, even: Rich, Kas, my mom (surprisingly), my dad, and a bunch of other patient and wonderful friends I have who have been kind enough to extend their talents in overanalysis and patience on long phone calls. But one in particular. He not only has physically picked me up out of bed when I couldn't, but was the first to pinpoint my problem, and the most proactive about talking me through the arduous process of coming to terms with the fact that my head is not, and never will be, entirely under my control, and that making the decision to accept medical help in both professional and pill form does not mean I am my mother, my grandmother or my father. It means I am acting on my desires to continue to be successfully functional and rational in what is undoubtedly a difficult but positively directed period in my life. It is almost entirely thanks to him (he did everything short of making the appointment for me) that I finally got my ultrasound, that I will find out what is wrong with my lower abdomen, and will, in turn, act on fixing my head as well. He has been compassionate, supportive and continuously surprises me as to how patient he can be. Especially when I cry for no reason at all and I call him about it. Like the time a Google Map of Nyack made me wail like a banshee.

He doesn't read this. He thinks LiveJournal is pretty much for social imbeciles. But I wanted to write this all down now, so I could read it again later when my internal power goes out again. Which it will - it always gets worse before it gets better. I'd like to think last night was the beginning of the worst, which means that after this bit, all I can do is go up. And I'm good at that when I get my act together.

Oh, and James Spader is awesome.

I can die a happy woman, now

2006-11-06T15:20:24Z

VMWare Fusion. I would fuck it if I could.

It's going in today.

2006-11-01T13:46:16Z

Wednesday, November 1, 2006
XXX XXXXX Street, Apt. 3
Hoboken, NJ 07030

Annette XXXXXXXXXX & Don XXXXXXX
XXX West XXXth Street
New York, NY XXXXX

Annette and Don;

Please accept this letter as formal notification that I am leaving my position with XXX XXXXXX XX XXXXXXX University and XXXXXXX University as of November 17, 2006.

Thank you for the opportunities you have provided me during my time with XXX XXXXXXX.

Sincerely,

Jennifer XXXXXXXXX

Kind of good news

2006-10-18T10:54:55Z

So, in my recent efforts to fix my life and make sure that everything is running as it should, I've discovered that I'm prone to panic attacks.

Yeah, I didn't know. Did any of you? Cos I wish someone would have told me sooner. It makes me feel the tiniest bit better to have a name for some of my sometimes-irrational behaviour. In fact, I'd like to point them out to you - because I'm so happy to have an explanation, I want to explain it to everyone else:

That time I freaked out about French Fries
That time I freaked out in Mexico and couldn't talk to anyone
That time I called my dad from Durban and cried for two hours
That time I shut myself into the bathroom at the Sin-e
Most of Middle School

It also turns out that low levels of Prozac can fix this for the most part. How is it that I was in the care of some sort of therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or otherwise for close to ten years of my life and no one figured this out? Cos I kind of wish I could have avoided this embarrassment, and discomfort to others.

Enough

2006-10-05T01:42:12Z

At what point do you say that enough is, most definitely, enough? As human beings, our most base desires, after self-preservation, are based in our relationships with others - we want family, we want friends, we want someone to wake up with in the morning. We are not solitary creatures and cannot subsist on long silences. So why, then, do we value our individualism and celebrate cultivated abilities to be one's own best friend? I, for one, want to share, divulge, learn and explore when it comes to other people. I don't think I am alone in that. And yet, I've had enough of myself - I'm full up. I can't, for the life of me, achieve, without hinderance, this basic goal.

My general method for dealing with that which is alien or uncomfortable to me, is, ]inconveniently, long silence. At some point in my life, I realize I will have to learn to draw the line and pick up the phone before I make royal messes out of things that I work long and hard for. I am not talking about my recently failed relationship. What I am talking about is my basic inability to deal with those who are as guarded and careful as I when it comes to the intimate and private details of my functional basics. Why am I so fucking guarded in the first place? Why can't I be open, honest and forthright to the people in my life whose opinions and relationships matter the most? I want to be. One would think that if my basic needs for survival include sincere and open relationships, that my inclinations in pursuing those relationships would follow suit. And yet, I find myself keeping close my natural impulses because I doubt my basic ability to judge their appropriateness. Why do I think feeling is so bad when that's an essential part of the aformentioned human relationships that I want so badly? What the fuck? Why can't I even be 100% open with my best friends? I'd like to think I'm able to be honest with myself - when will that start to translate?

Tech Support @ The School

2006-09-23T19:37:51Z

Tech
Originally uploaded by jenniever.

Yesterday, a gym teacher took out a camera on loan and took a test shot while the entire support part of the Tech Department was in the Computer Repair room.

I'm totally the lead singer of this band.

Rants and Raves

2006-09-05T02:59:02Z

It's taken me three days and a lot of crying and sleeping, but I've almost entirely forgotten how much I hate work, which leaves me to being human again. Hooray! My labour day was pleasantly spent in Harriman State Park doing the 3.4 mile hike along part of the Appalachian to the Lemon Squeezer with Kas. On the way, we saw a skinny snake digesting something chip-munk sized, a lot of ill-dressed asian women, and some cute couples camped out by Island Pond. The rest of the day was spent eating home-made pasta with her parents and sleeping on the train home. It was a good day.

So, here are the best and worst features of my weekend, in no particular order:

*Yay to Flax Plus, raisins and Kefir. together.
*Boo to dry pantone
*Yay to The Closer, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, 30 Days, Entourage and the return of Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy. Uh.
*Yay to the possibility of escape and lower commuting costs
*Boo to not going to the gym since Wednesday
*Yay to a Pier A tan
*Yay to Annie Proulx's Close Range: Wyoming Stories for feeding my cowboy literature fetish. And my constant desire to want to go somewhere BIG.
*Boo to crazy mothers
*Yay to the Komen Breast Cancer 5K next Sunday in Central park. I'm running it with Kas.
*Boo to forgetting that I should call Cory, too, when I go hiking
*Yay to remembering for next time.
*Yay to being exhausted in a good, sun-tanned, hiked many miles sort of way.
*Yay to life. It's not so bad when you forget about your job for a little while.
*Boo to not being able to drink and recover like you used to in college. And by 'you', I don't mean me.
*Yay to Quick Check's crazy ordering of the future. And their extraordinary Taylor Ham and Cheese sandwiches.
*Boo to bad windshields in the rain at 3AM.
*Yay to a new Murakami book!
*Boo to finally realizing you love someone only to have them not love you back. And by 'you', I don't mean me.
*Yay to discounts on resorts in Florida during hurricaine season
*Boo to actual Hurricaines
*Yay (surprisingly) to The Hours - you know, that Virginia Woolf movie. Surprisingly, Yay!
*Boo to summer ending
*Yay that next years might be better

Fact

2006-08-26T19:36:59Z

My primary ambitions for today:

1) Finish laundry
2) clean the dishes in the sink
3) go to the gym
4) watch "Ed Wood"
5) Make the perfect shrimp tacos
6) keep myself from quitting my job

Work Meme

2006-08-25T03:23:58Z

We have to fill out this form at Work so they can put out a glossy book about how great our faculty is.

Name (as you would like it to appear in your biography)
I wrote my name here. My name will not be on teh intarweb.

Educational Qualifications (Degrees and concentrations, and any other relevant qualifications)
B.A. in English from Drew University. I concentrated my upper-level courses and thesis on Structural Narrative Theory in both French and English literature.
I’m also an Apple Certified Helpdesk Technician.

Experience
I’ve worked for almost six years as technical support staff in primary, secondary and post-secondary schools, including two laptop programs. I worked at Drew University as both Helpdesk and Network support for Drew’s ubiquitous computing program, and then in the Technology Department in the East Rutherford School District in East Rutherford, NJ until I came to The School in 2004 as the Client Systems Support Specialist (or, you know, the helpdesk person). I’m currently the Server Systems Support Specialist for Technology at The School. To most people at The School, there’s not much difference between the two, but it basically means I get to play with the big computers in the noisy room, instead of the little ones in your hands. You don’t need to include that last sentence in my bio.
My other professional experience includes work in the New Media department of Artemis Records, Computer Instructor at The Summer Institute for The Gifted, and Editorial Assistant for Modernism/Modernity.

You probably don't want to hear about all those times I had to waitress or work retail.

Relevant Interests
Fencing, Cycling, Traveling and Kurt Vonnegut

Any other pertinent information
What I love most about working here is seeing the dialogues that purposefully implemented pedagogical, cultural and technological resources can create amongst faculty members, students and the larger community. I love seeing stories unfold and looking at the structures behind them. The School is turning out to be a really great story – and I love being a part of that structure.

boring. i know.

Matthew Good

2006-08-15T19:57:26Z

So, Matthew Good is going through a breakup. I kind of went through a breakup with him when his most recent descent into happiness started a few years ago. He went from a skinny, angry guy trying to rid himself from demons to being a somewhat chubby happy guy, aspiring to rid the world from evil. If you know me, you can imagine my displeasure, even beyond my vague happiness for him that he got to be happy. I felt the same way when Billy Corgan found Jesus. His stuff went to shit and I kind of stopped caring (and believe you me, I cared a LOT beforehand).

However, recently Matthew's wife left him (I'm sorry, that's awful. It really is. I can't imagine the pain, especially since he seemed completely unguarded about her - something I have yet to experience), and he's had a series of beautifully written personal posts on his usually 100% Iraq-related blog. In that sense, for the fans at least, this is a partially good thing. I know, we feel torn. We want our favorite people to be happy, but it's kind of sad when that makes them less interesting. In the reverse, we see things like this happening, and we almost feel a secret glee that we'll be privy to all the great work that becomes a product of turmoil like this. Being a fan sticks you in a weird place.

For you Canadians who found him to be a product of all the other weird pseudo-angsty rock that came out in the late-90's, you probably didn't have a chance to read his prose. It's kind of what makes his music a little bit better than your average 20-somethign four-piecer rock outfit. He's ridiculously gifted, beyond writing quotable (But not always sensical) songs. He's one of the writers I admire, right up there next to Nabokov, Vonnegut and Borges (ok, maybe he's not Nobel material, but I enjoy him more than Dave Eggers or any of his other much-acclaimed writer contemporaries - I think Matt is at least small prize worthy). I just wish he had the attention span to produce something other than blog entries and stories about hookers.

But damn, I could read his stories about hookers for hours.

Matthew Good Band - Fearless

Watched 30 Days last night?

2006-08-10T11:34:13Z

Holy. Shit.

I heart Matthew Good

2006-08-08T23:07:05Z

So much.

Last of the incessant posts

2006-08-07T20:27:12Z

My intern is convinced that, despite the fact that I have spent more time on this planet than him, I am not as culturally steeped as I should be. I'll admit to that, but only in intimate company, and I think he's a bit presumptuous to assume that he's more niche than I am. For the most part, I can kick his ass in literary or musical obscurity. And he's the one with the problem where he considers Pearl Jam classic rock. He'll have to work that out. I nod and smile as he hands me stacks of films (no, they are not movies - they are films) on DVD, because movies are not my forte, and I guess we kind of call it even.

All this aside, his call on Bright Eyes - a band he recommended to me after I recounted my love-hate relationship with Exit Music (For A Film) - was an oddly excellent one. I'd intended to listen to them several times while I was going through my Neutral Milk Hotel phase, but just never got around to it.

I do like them. I mean, except for the emo-ish lyrics part of them - the music itself is very, very interesting.

Don't tell my intern I said so, though.

Bright Eyes - Arc Of Time (Time Code)